The ending of a relationship is one of the most traumatic things a person can go through. Nature has designed us to bond with others. We are actually hard-wired for this connection within our DNA.
A break-up throws us into “fight of flight” mode. Let me explain: Long ago, when people lived and traveled within a small community--a clan or tribe, their very survival depended on each other. If a person became separated from their clan/tribe, this caused panic because they very likely were not going survive on their own. Now think modern day: Hearing the words, “I’m leaving” or, “I don’t love you anymore” or, “I want a divorce.” Those words hold the power to strike that same fear in our hearts about our own survival.
One of the biggest obstacles moving forward to creating happiness again is feeling incomplete in the aftermath of the break-up. Per Katherine Woodward Thomas, creator of New York Times Bestseller, Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After, “Relationships that don’t end well don’t end at all.” The aftermath of a break-up has the power to transform us or to keep us stuck in a constant pattern of blame sometimes for years. So, how do we navigate these traumatic waters when we feel so blindsided by a partner that we can’t breathe?
First, understand that, “Time does not heal all wounds. WE DO.” Countless studies show if we just rely upon time to do the work, while continuing to ruminate upon the wrongs done to us, that our incompletions and resentments will diminish our chances for future love and happiness in shockingly predicable ways.
The Conscious Uncoupling process believes that, “A broken heart is an open heart.” Just as you would never leave a broken leg to heal on its own, so too you want to attend to the cracks in your beautiful heart in a way that promises to make your crooked places straight again, and grow your ability to love and be loved more wisely moving forward. Every ending is an opportunity for a brand new beginning. I am honored to help you hold space for your brand new beginning.
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